How do I know.

How do I know that I have let it all go?. I smile, I laugh ,I  love and I grow.

  But when I think of my parents I lose all control.  I believe that I got this , but what I got is a hole.

It was never quite healthy. I have to admit. both of them substance abusive self inflicted addicts.

I laughed and I smiled i love and I grow. But that was my defense mechanism that got me through all the lows.

I felt I found peace when they both left to rest. But the hole is much deeper than I could address.

I cry, i hurt I weep and can’t sleep. It’s to hard to hide from what you can’t see.

I don’t have to tell them they knew how I felt. Through the innocent eyes of a child they felt guilt.

How do I know that I let it all go? Everyday is a new day that’s all that I know.

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